From Anxiety to Meltdown

Lipsky is an author who is herself a high functioning woman with Aspergers so perhaps is best placed to guide us through what it feels like to have Aspergers and why anxiety and sensory overload are behind meltdowns. She also travels around the US giving talks and trouble shooting.

I actually enjoyed reading this book and found it to be very readable. I particularly appreciated the personal anecdotes and her forthright opinions. At times she indulged in mini rants about the illogicality of much of the neuro-typical world and on most occasions I agreed with her and felt that they all demonstrated an important point. She is very careful to clearly explain and then illustrate everything with examples and thereby ensures that the reader fully understands what causes meltdowns and how they feel. Lipsky also takes time to explain the differences between a temper tantrum and a meltdown and how to manage and de-escalate both states. Lipsky explains that meltdowns are part of the ‘Fight or flight' reaction and that people on the spectrum seem to have an overactive fear response. Once the person has reached a certain point their ability to reason and control themselves disappear and they cannot be held accountable. She gives many suggestions about how to spot when a meltdown is imminent and to prevent it before it is too late. There is also a mine of information about how to adapt a person's life so that they are not overwhelmed, without having to totally withdraw from life and how to prepare for unwanted but inevitable changes to plans.

Lipsky dedicates two entire chapters to meltdown triggers and concludes with a very useful and practical chapter on meltdown interventions

Very early on in the book Lipsky explains that many people on the spectrum need a minute by minute script of what they will be doing - this order is necessary to them and makes things safe. She explains how anything which takes them away from their script is extremely anxiety arousing. She uses examples to guide parents/carers how to present an unavoidable change to plans in a way that will help the child re-write and understand a new script.

Lipsky questions to what degree we should be trying to change our children rather than encouraging the world to adapt to them. She explains that many children are encouraged to become neuro-typical at considerable cost to the child and that trying to desensitise a sensory over reaction can potentially be quite cruel as can insisting on eye contact. I totally agree with her focus and feel that she has struck the perfect balance between helping the child/adult learn strategies to manage and control their anxiety and also those around them putting in an equal amount of effort to accommodate the person on the spectrum. Sometimes avoidance is acceptable and very often compromise and slight adjustments can work, such as shopping when few people are likely to be around

On a personal level I could relate to much of what she says and I suspect that many parents with children on the spectrum will find it not only instructive in helping their child but also for themselves.

If you are struggling with a child who is constantly being aggressive and having meltdowns this book goes a long way to explaining why and what you can do about it. For parents who are beginning to feel that their child is just bad, or where schools feel that the child is just poorly disciplined then this book will help to change their false cognitions.

This is a must read for parents, learning support assistants, social workers, teachers and psychologists and will give them much needed insight and empathy.